Nessie Full of Grace
by Toadalyterific101
Summary: On hold/ may be deleted post book 1 Breaking Dawn. Renesmee goes to Forks High for the first time with her family, and fate decides to throw her some major obstacles? All Nessie wants is to be loved. Jacob has NOT imprinted on her.
1. Nerves

**(A/N)**

**Hey my name is Toni, this is my first fan fiction please comment and let me know what I can improve on.**

**P.S. I do not own anything Twilight, unless you count 3 tee shirts, a pencil case and various bumper stickers that are all twilight.**

**This story takes place once Renesmee is full grown and is going to High School for the first time in Forks to be exact. The only major change I have made is Jacob is in the story but has not imprinted on Renesmee, actually he has not imprinted at all.**

**Enough stalling I guess its time for the big shebang… here it is my story, You Are my Sunshine.**

**Nerves**

I was nervous, no I was more than nervous I was freakin shaking. I had no idea about what was going to happen today. I was contemplating breaking down into tears when I heard a rapid yet precise knock at my door. I knew it could only be one person at my current emotional state….. Jasper.

"May I come in?" Jazz asked though I knew was already sensing my distress, and would be as persistent as hell if I tried to deny him the chance of calming me down. So I quickly came to my senses and just about squealed 'Yesssss.'

I needed him. I needed his talent per say. He could calm down a room full of horny teenagers. As he walked in I abruptly felt a strong wave of calmness sweep the room. The only words I could squeak out of my startled mouth were 'Thank You" when I suddenly lost all strength in my legs and fell back onto my bed.

'Are you ok? I kind of had to o.d. you on clam. I don't know how you could be so nervous over such a little thing as High School."

High School, those two words have been haunting me for the past few weeks. What kind of demon would invent a place where hundreds sometimes thousands of teenagers congregate for extended periods of time?

Nobody else feels the same way about going to school because they have all done this before granted some many times more than others. It was my first time going through High School but everyone else in my family has at least been though this whole charade twice.

That's exactly what it was, a 'charade'. How is this normal? Well I guess we are not normal. No, normally you don't have a group of 6 ½ vampires integrated into a school. Whether or not the students know they are willingly attending school with said vampires is regardless.

'You have no idea how it feels to have to make such a big change such as High School alone, when you know you cannot make friends for fear of accidentally killing one of them. And then doing all of this knows you are automatically outcast #1 of the entire school." I said urgently as the sobbs started to rip through my mask of false mental satiability.

'Wait there Renesmee Cullen, I may know more than you give me credit for when it comes to being different.' He said in a calm tone. I could see he was still trying to calm me as he placed a cold but soothing hand on my shoulder. This I was thankful for a friend, even though he may have been my uncle. 'I had to integrate into a vegetarian family along with Alice. Then we had to go to school and distance ourselves from the humans as you will have to do, I also had to deal with most of the problems you are and will have to face. Renesmee, I know you know this but I feel I must say it, I love you and you can tell me anything in the utmost of confidence. I can sense that this High School problem is not the only one bothering you.'

I had to admit that he was right. I am so scared, scared that since you have Alice, Rose has Emmet, and Mom has Dad that I will be alone in every sense of the word for all eternity."

'Nessie, you don't need to worry about such things. You are a smart, beautiful, and strong girl.' As he said these words all I could think of is yes maybe I am smart but I'm no Carlisle, I'm definitely not beautiful when I am standing next to Rose or Mom, and strong well I am half vampire but now is that supposed to help me on the guy front. I couldn't say this to Jazz so I nodded than thanked him for his understanding even thought I didn't believe he actually knew what I was going through. I couldn't stall any more I need to get ready school started in 1 hour and even with my father driving I had to hurry.

"I think I need to start getting ready for school if I'm even going to be able to walk next to any of the women in this house without looking like a fool." I said sarcastically.

He chuckled and said, 'sure, and remember that we can talk like this anytime.'

He silently left and I secretly knew I would have to take him up on his offer to try to keep my sanity.

(A/N)

I hope you liked it, whether or not you did or did not please comment anyway….. I need feedback. Remember that the faster you comment the faster I write. Chapter 2 will be coming out soon. If you e-mail me I will send you a pre- view, my e-mail is 

Thanks I love y'all

Toni!!!


	2. Mask

**A/N**…. I went back and uploaded ch.2 onto my mom's computer uploaded it onto word and found out I have no clue how to spell… sorry I went back and fixed it.

Props to CourtneyHale I used spell check this time so if there any errors, blame my computer.

**Nessie full of Grace **

**Ch. 2 Mask**

___RPOV___

And with one quick and precise stroke of the mascara wand I was done. I took one long look at myself in the full length mirror and all I could do was "hungh!" and think that if I was standing next to just any normal girl I would look pretty damn good, but compared to my family I always feel plain. I feel as if I don't belong anywhere. I am neither vampire nor human. But at this moment in time there was nothing I could do about it.

When I turned 16 (or at least when I reached the maturity of a 16 yr. old) I moved out of the Cottage and into a spare room in the Main House. Believe it or not this was my Mom's idea; she felt it would help me to "spread my wings".

I was early; I had at least 15 min. until we absolutely had to leave. So I sat myself down on one of the ever so plain white sofas. I felt as if I was one of these white sofas, just another plain piece of furniture among so many other extraordinary things. That was me, just a half breed I could never hope to be as beautiful or talented as any other member of my family.

No sooner did my butt hit the sofa than my dearest Aunt Alice walk in. I loved her; she was what any girl could hope for in an aunt. Except when she decides to go shopping, or wants to do anything prating to fashion, (which is 99.9% of the time) that's when I skip out.  
I was about to happily greet her when she ever so politely said "Is that really what you are wearing to school?" as if it was joke...

"Um, Yes?" I replied confident of my clothing selection. If Alice had a problem with it than she could walk around with her eyes closed.

"Now Nessie" She tisked her tongue. "Have I taught you anything about constructing a proper outfit...? Have I taught you anything? Come with me, you are sooo helpless just like your mother." As she spoke those words with a certain diligence and sternness about her, I could tell that whether I was willing to or not I was going up stairs with her.  
As we journeyed upstairs I tried to walk as slow as possible without being to conspicuous. I knew no matter how slow I walked there was no getting out of the fact that Alice was about to inflict a kind of torture upon me only comparable to water boarding.

Once we finally reached her bathroom we had exactly 13 min. left, and I knew that only meant it would hurt all the more. She started hastily whipping the brush through my hair and dabbing various creams and powders here and there. I knew this was only the beginning. We had not even looked at the closet yet.

Exactly 10 min. later I pulled the last and final shirt over my head and decided that if she didn't like this one on me too bad. But the next thing that occurred truly surprised me; Alice all but screamed "done".

How we could be done, I mean with Alice's standards I didn't expect to be done for the next hour. I thought this but I wouldn't dare say it for fear of aggravating her and making her take 2 hours. So I simply said "thank you, I wasn't sure if I looked ok. Now I am sure I look good.' I tried to flush my voice with confidence; there was no reason to upset her just because I had issues.

"You look better than ok honey!" she said full of enthusiasm. 'You look friggin gorgeous!"

When she finally let me look in the mirror to see what I looked like I was astonished. I had let her work wonders on me before but never before... I looked awesome! I finally felt like I could take on what ever High School could give me. We finished up the last few things that needed to be done and filed down the stairs. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach again. I was getting nervous. I had to calm myself down; I couldn't let Jasper seem me like this.

As we reached the bottom of the stairs I started hearing loud and obnoxious wolf whistles... oh my God, that was Emmet. I could always count on him to cheer me up. There was no holding it back anymore, I busted out laughing... It was uncontrollable. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Slam!!! My car door shut, I was going to drive with my parents. Whenever I was around them I always felt better. They were so in love, it made me want to have something as complex and intricate as what they have. Seeing them everyday like this made me happy but it also made me wonder if this would ever be possible for me. I have heard from them that it will happen for me but how, and when it does how will I know it has happened?

We pulled into the parking lot of the school I started mentally preparing myself for the challenge ahead of me when my dad leaned back and said 'don't you worry your pretty little head, if you need any help with anything we all will be here for you, though I doubt you will need it."

I loved my dad, his name was Edward. Many people find it extremely irritating that he can read minds, but I like it because he always knows just what I need. He had a way with humans; my mom (whose name is Bella) calls it dazzling them. He seems to know how to get whatever he wants whenever he wants it.

"Nessie, get out or we will be late." dad called out as he held the door open for me. There was no turning back now it was time to go in.

**A/N**…Thanks for reading… again.... and if this was your first time you get a plain thanks for reading.

Please comment. I reply to all comments. (If there is a question or at least something that I can reply to)


	3. Scent

A/N…. I am dedicating this chapter to my friend KieliGirl, she is currently working on a vampire love story named BrokenHearted Women are Allowed to Cry. (Non twilight related no matter how many times I ask she still refuses to add a character named Edward ugh! But I still love her!)

P.S. I do not own Twilight or Vaseline (don't ask just read)

Chapter 3

Scent

**____RPOV____**

He was holding the door for me to get out of the car, but I simply could not muster up enough strength to take the first steps. I knew I could do it; I had to if not for myself but for my family, who I loved more than anything else on this big blue world. This was a big day for them to. (I think)

I was instantaneously grateful to my ever so reliable uncle Jasper when he sent me a small gift of strength in his own silent way. This was all I needed now I was finally ready.

When I got out of the car my mom was immediately by my side holding my hand. We had an extraordinary relationship. I know some may classify her as a mother, but in my book she was more of a friend of which I could never find an equal. I loved her. She was my best friend, but I have never had the courage or self confidence to speak with her as I did Jasper this morning.

As I reached to open the door to the main building, I was hit with a distinct _**scent**_ that some how sent shivers up my spine. I can not say it smelt bad just not like anything I have smelt before. It drew me in, but not as human blood did. This fact scared me, it made me feel defenseless in some way.

The second the scent hit my nose my father grabbed my arm and pulled me back to the defensive line being formed by my family. "_What the heck! What's wrong?" _I thought.

"Werewolf" my dad's voice said with a tinge to it I have never heard before.

"Jacob?" my mom said it questioningly but as if this was a well known name.

"Yes" he replied in a grave tone.

I had no clue what to do. I of course knew what a werewolf was. (But have never seen one before) Who was this person, and what did they have to do with werewolves? I didn't expect an answer but then my dad said "he is one". That's when I lost it.

Once we realized that this 'Jacob" person meant us no harm. Alice was on the phone with Carlisle discussing the current predicament.

She closed the phone and said "Carlisle believes if he didn't attack then we should stick to our plans as normal and act as if nothing happened. Edward you need to scan his mind and make sure he doesn't decide to do anything that could get us hurt. I will keep my eye to the future. Carlisle also said to keep our eyes out for anything suspicious."

I was ok with this. I knew he could kill me but in some perverse way I wondered how someone who smelt so good could be that bad.

Jazz was the next to speak 'shall we" he said innocently holding the door open as if nothing just happened.

When we walked in the scent was still there but it was obvious that the "thing' it was coming from was gone.

The room was ordinary. It contained 3 folding chairs and a long desk with a little old lady sitting behind it. The petite, white haired lady looked as if some one had put Vaseline on her dentures. She proudly wore a smile from ear to ear. And effortlessly greeted us with a warm "Welcome, how may I help you?"

Dad walked up to the desk and said 'I am Edward Cullen and this is my family. We are here to pick up our schedules." I could tell solely by the tone of his voice he was dazzling the poor woman who was running the front office. She quickly hurried off into a frantic whirlwind that if I watched I was sure would make me dizzy.

When she returned with our schedules she asked if we needed some one to show us around. My father chuckled lightly and replied with a smooth "no thanks". He then proceeded to hand them out. I was the last to get mine and by the time it was handed to me every one was happy. Jazz had all classes with Alice, Em had all classes but one with Rose, and Mom had all with Dad. When I glance at mine I was happy, my classes looked interesting.

Before I could even realize it was happening Em grabbed my schedule out of my hand and said 'aw, and I was hoping we would have some classes together. We don't have any, shucks!" that slowly let to every one checking my schedule to see if we shared any classes. I was disappointed when I found out I didn't have any with anyone in my family.

I guess my mother was a little more than disappointed because she grabbed my schedule and took it to the desk.

"Excuse me, we have a problem." She said to the poor lady. I wondered if this woman had any clue how scared she should be, with my vampire mom yelling at her as if this was her fault.

Dad shook his head and whispered to me "she has no clue" this made me chuckle.

"Yes what is it honey?" she said calmly as if my mom was this calm… ha-ha!

"My dau-… sister has a problem with her schedule. She does not have any class with ant other member of her family. We requested-"my mom hesitated obviously trying to calm herself down

"honey" the lady said retaining her calmness "When you come in this late in the year we can not customize everyone's schedules. I am so sorry but there is nothing I can do for you at this point in time." I was astonished when my mom silently said "thank you" and walked back over to me.

"What do we do?" she asked dad silently

He sort of shrugged and replied "I don't know I think we should go to our classes for today and come back tomorrow with Esme. We may be her parents but legally we are nothing." I knew this hurt for him to say but it was true. I immediately went over to him and gave him the most sisterly bear hug I could.

"Thank you I needed that." He said that as if I didn't already know that, but then I silently retreated to hold my Mom's hand.

Slowly I began to realize that now I had to really do this on my own today. This made way for a new undiscovered type of true fear to slowly seep into my life. In some way this also made me happy because I knew I may see this Jacob that smells so good again, maybe in the near future.

A/N………..

I hope you liked it. The faster you comment the faster I write.

A lot happened in this chapter if you have any questions feel free to e-mail me.

Thank you all.

Much love,

Toni


	4. Intoxicating

This is my Chapter 4.... I am still questioning myself on how I want this story to pan out so if you want to add any more ideas... your help would be greatly appreciated.

This is my disclaimer I don't and will never own Twilight. I wish I did... but my last name is Nickel not Rockefeller. I just realized that's kind of weird kuz nickel is a form of change... ha-ha... Ok I'm weird!!

Oh and as an added note this chapter starts in Jacob's point of view!! It should clear up some confusion.

my song I was listening to while writing this was whiskey lullaby... this is also the theme song for this chapter....at least for Jacob's part... you may understand why later....

Nessie Full of Grace—

____________Chapter4

intoxicating________

_______________JPoV

I still didn't understand why the pack forced ME to come to this wretched school. Every time I thought about this place images of my Bella rush into my head with no way to stop them.

I miss her, I still think of her always.

When Bella told me that she didn't feel the same way about me as I did her, it felt like as if some one had set fire to my heart... I later found out that they were engaged, and that he actually planed to give her a "real honeymoon" it felt like the heart that was once in my chest was gone. From this point forward my life revolved around the pack. No matter how hard I tried I still couldn't get Bella off my mind.

Bella and Edward moved to Alaska for about 8 years ago, by that time I was gone. I still don't really know where I went all I know is it was snowy. The last place I recall being was a place called Yellow knife, the only reason I remember this location is because that's where I was when I found out she was gone.

After about a year I found myself headed in the direction of home. My father had handled my disappearance well. It was Charlie, Bella's father, on the other hand that went a little overboard. He hung posters and sent out weekly "Find Jake" bulletins. Billy was pretty cool with it in the beginning, but after the first 4 months started getting kind of annoyed. I can't believe that he actually thought I was missing. My father couldn't explain that I was in fact a werewolf and that my pack and I were in constant contact and how no matter how hard I tried I could not get away from them.

I wished that that I could just ignore their thoughts but it was impossible. No matter how bad I wanted to get away from them I couldn't, I was still in some way loyal to the pack. It was just a random annoyance until I started hearing the screaming, by the time I came to my senses he was gone there was no turning back, Sam was dead.

I mostly blamed myself. I told myself that if I was there I would have been able to save him. Now deep down I know that's not the case but when in mourning nothing makes sense.

At this point in time I had to go back. I was the rightful alpha now and it was time to fulfill my duty.

The morning after Sam's death I decided that I had to take a plane to get back to LaPush in time for my alpha's funeral.

It was just like riding a bike, I didn't have to really think about it, it came kind of naturally, one second I was a werewolf the next I was plane Jake. That's what she called me, Jake. At least now I knew going back I wouldn't run into her or her bloodsucker. I swore if I ever saw him again that I would punch him so hard that even as a vampire it would leave a mark.

When I got home all of LaPush was under top security. The Hell bound demons that had killed Sam slipped out of our grasp before we could dispose of them properly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (A/N this is not the end)~~~~~~~

I had to go to class. I had already picked up my schedule. I had Biology first period. Oh what fun, just what every person in there right mind wants to do at 6:15 in the morning.

I was on my way out of the office when it hit me. The SCENT was intoxicating. I had to take a few steps back. Through this new and glorious smell was another I knew all to well, and another, and another. In fact I knew all but 2 of these strange odors... They were the Cullens.

What do I do now? Who was with them that had this infatuating perfume about them? How could they be back without us knowing?

The answer to the first question I would have to decide for myself. I had to stay. If I stay then they know we know they are back. It will also show Bella that I am over her, or at least make her think I am over her.

That was another problem; if I did have a class with her how could I handle it? I quickly thought to myself that the pack needs me to be here and I had to be strong for them.

One thing I knew I was looking forward to was figuring out who these two mystery people are? I knew one was a vampire but the other smelt like, a mixture of happiness and bliss. I know it's kind of corny, but no earthly word can describe the incredible feelings it gave me when I smelt it.

As I got closer to the door of my first period class, the smell came back. It was coming from inside the room. She was in there waiting for me. Ok well maybe not waiting for me but she was in there none the less.

I nonchalantly took the few long strides it took me to get into the class. I quickly scanned the room and there she was.

" _**Everything that made me who I was- my love for Bella, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self,- disconnected from me in that second- snip,snip,snip- and floated up into space.**_

_**I was not left drifting. A new string held me to this room.**_

_**Not one string but a million steel cables all tying me to one thing- to the very center of my universe.**_

_**I could see that now- how the universe swirled around this one point. I'd never seen the symmetry of the universe before but now it was plane.**_

_**The gravity of the Earth no longer holds me to this place where I stood.**_

_**It was this girl in the simple biology class that held me here now."**_

Comment please!!! I don't know if you like it if you don't spread the love.

I have to give credit to Stephanie Meyer for the last quote. I decided no one can sum up how Jacob felt when he imprinted better than her. I did change a few words to make it apply to my story.

This was by far my favorite chapter. I had alot of fun trying to think like Jacob, but I think next chapter is all Renesmee.

Alot of stuff happened in this chapter so let me know if you have any questions

**Comment= preview...**

Sorry I haven't been able to post for a while there is something wrong with the site. But if this is up then it is fixed. All hail website fixers!

**Don't forget to check out my new book..!!!!**

MUCH LOVE,

TONI 333


	5. Biology

I'm soooo sorry for the way it came up the first time I posted it. I had no Idea I believe it is the way I saved it!!! again I'm soo sorry !!!!!!

Hey y'all I'm so sorry for the delay. I have come up with many excuses why it has taken so long but I will not bore you. If you really feel the need to know I would be happy to trade a excuse for a comment ha ha!! No I am serious... lol :)

I really wanted this chapter to be longer but I didn't want y'all to wait longer so with no further a due... dun dun dum

Read, Live, Love *********** : P ***************

__Biology_  
Nessie Full of Grace_  
Ch 5 ___

Breathe, I told myself. Breathe, and take the first step. The first step in the newest chapter of your story. I quickly sniffed the air for the intriguing scent I have been hoping to smell. He wasn't there. I wanted so badly for this Jacob to be here so maybe I could meet him without my parents over reacting.

I decided to quickly push these silly ideas out of my head I had more important things to think about. I walked into the simple Biology class as if it was nothing. It was, I could do this, academically I had learned all of this stuff years ago. It was the socializing part that I had absolutely no experience with. The only people I have socialized with I am related to. I don't think this is a problem, but my parents do.

One thing I knew for sure I had completely covered, was my power, it is not that hard to do. I can simply tell myself not to ⌠show■ others what I am thinking and I don't. Thank God my family knew I had this control or else all of this worry would be 10 times worse.

Once across the threshold of the room I went to the seat farthest back I could. If I'm in the back it will be harder for people to look at the ⌠new kid■. I practically ran to my seat but it didn't help at all. I didn't think about the fact that there are bound to be power cords, binders, and well, people in the walkway (all of which I tripped over). I fell , I got back up, and I fell again. Consequently wherever I went so did everyones eyes.

I didn't need Dad's power to figure out I was the attention of the entire class room. Definitely not how I would have wanted it to be. My family has worked very hard to learn to blend in and apparently I missed the lesson on gracefully entering a room.

The second my butt hit the seat I exhaled in a silent sigh of relief hopefully I could learn to blend.

That thought didn't last long because as I was thinking it Mr. Mosera ( my Biology teacher) decided that I needed to be introduced to the class.

⌠Attention class, we have a new student in our room today.■ Oh God this is only the beginning! ⌠Renesmee Cullen, would you please come to the front of the class and tell us a little about yourself?■ I swiftly felt a warm blush come over my cheeks, this was one of the half- human things I hated, blushing. It is so in-discrete.

Before I could get out of my seat the class room door swung open and in walked the person I just could not stop thinking of, Jacob.

He was magnificent, he had dark caramel skin with big brown eyes accented perfectly by long brown lashes and spiky brown hair. He was easily 6 ft 3 and didn't look gangley. He was perfectly muscular and had a masculine but baby face. His lips formed an perfect smile just slightly revealing a perfect set of teeth. He was easily the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever seen human, vampire, or werewolf.

As he stepped in his eyes quickly swept the room and stopped at me. He looked at me curiously and my mind froze, I could no longer think. The full effect of his eyes had not hit me until he looked at me head on. He was more than dazzling me, he was hypnotizing me.

⌠ Excuse me. We are having class.■ Mr. Mosera said with a tone of anger.

⌠Sorry I'm late. My name is Jacob Black, I'm new to this school today.■ His voice was like a perfect lullaby, it was soothing and strong, it made me feel safe, just to hear it in the same room as I.

I felt a warm tingle travel up my spine and my cheeks became even warmer. I could not help but smile as he continued to stare longingly at me.

⌠Well come on in and take a seat.■ Mr. Mosera said hurriedly.

Jacob quickly came into the room and took the seat behind me, his eyes still locked on me.

Mr. Mosera thankfully gave up the notion that I needed to be introduced, and went straight to teaching.

After 15 minutes of class I felt a soft tap on my shoulder so soft I doubt that a human could feel it. When I turned, attempting to stay inconspicuous, there he was holding a note for me.

Hello, So your new too?  
My name is Jacob, but you can call me Jake.

I had absolutely no idea how to pass notes without getting caught. What did I need notes for when my dad is a mind reader, and I can communicate thoughts through touch?

After class I would have to talk to him, no matter what my parents would think of it.

******************* :) *  
Thanks for reading!!!! I love you all.

OK, so I am using the real names of my real teachers b/c I'm just not THAT creative!! So If by some weird chance one of my teachers are reading this I hope you don't mind!!! :)

I didn't get many comments on the last chapter but i did get alot of people reading it. So i am thankful for that but i would really appreciate you commenting... so Comment!! please!!

Comment= Review ┘ p. s. I already have the preview written this time so immediate gratification!!!!!

Much Love,  
Toni 


	6. HalfTruths

**I really hope you like it. I put a lot of time into this chapter.**

**Read, Live, Love!!**

**Ch 6**

**Half-Truths**

I nearly jumped out of my seat when the bell went off with a loud clatter. It was time to change classes.

Before I could stand there was someone there picking up my books and my stuff for me, it was "Jake".

"Oh, um.. I could've gotten that." I said startled that anyone that I had never met would be so sweet as to carry my stuff for me.

"Oh it's not a problem. It gives me a excuse to walk you to your next class."

When he said those words it made my whole world light up. I got to walk with him to my next class, and I got to talk to him on the way there.

"Thanks, thats so sweet!" was all I could squeak out of my hypnotized brain.

We quickly left the room and began walking down the hall hopefully in the direction of my next period. Him still holding my books and me still unable to speak.

"Where are you from" he asked breaking the never ending silence.

"Oh, I was born in Canada. What about you?" It was the truth. That is where my Mom had wanted to have me. Carlisle had agreed that it was the best. For some unknown reason.

" I was born in La Push on the reservation"

"Do you still live there?" I asked wondering why he doesn't go to school there, but not wanting to be too pushy.

"Yeah, it is so beautiful. Have you ever been?"

" No, I haven't. I want to but my parents Carlisle and Esme are very busy people. We often spend our free time hiking," I was trying to stay as truthful as possible. Attempting to construct a intricate web of half-truths.

I knew that he was not a human, I could tell just by smelling him,but I couldn't just tell him what I was . My parents said he was a werewolf, and that he was dangerous. I just simply couldn't look at this blessed person in front of me and see him as anything other than peaceful.

"Your father is Dr. Carlisle Cullen, the surgeon?" he sounded a little angered just saying Carlisle's Name. I didn't understand how anyone could be mad at Carlisle for anything.

"Yes, adopted." I replied staying as perky as inhumanly possible.

"Whats your next class?" I said trying to change the subject.

"Mrs. Meyer's Language Arts." he replied unthinkingly, how on earth did he already have his schedule memorized?

"Are you serious, me too!" I could not believe that he had some classes with me. I was slowly becoming more and more grateful that I did not have any classes with my family. There was no way that they could understand this instant attachment I felt to this new and beautiful boy.

His eyes instantaneously lit up as if I had just told him that he won the lottery.

"Wow, thats awesome."

"I think it is this way," he said as he pointed to the door to exit the tiny building we were in.

Once we reached the door he immediately opened it for me. The only men that have ever held a door for me were members of my family, and they are complete gentleman. "Thanks," I said stumbling to get the word out of my awed mouth before the polite time for saying thank you passed.

"Welcome," he simply said, as if he was surprised I thanked him.

"So you said you go hiking, how often do you think you go," he asked with a look of caution plastered on his face.

"I'm not really sure. We go whenever we can. We usually go as a family whenever the weather is nice."

"Wow thats so cool. I love being outdoors."

"So do I, I feel like if I stay inside too long I'll burst. I have to go out and get fresh air." I had always felt like this since I was very little. Even though I didn't have to hide because I didn't sparkle, I still enjoyed the exhilarating wind as it blew against my face.

" We should goon a hike sometime." Was he asking me on a date?

My mind immediately flashed to my family, what would they say if they found out what I was doing. I knew the answer to that question, and I felt at odds. There was no way I could not be around Jacob, no matter what he was. There was something tyeing me to him. But I could not upset my family, I loved them too much. I wanted more than anything for my family to let me be with Jacob but I knew that would never happen. If this was true I would not waste the precious time I did have with him.

"Yeah, that would be nice." It was all I could say, I could not refuse him even though I knew how unlikely it was.

"I think were here." he then pointed to the little plaque next to the door that noted it was Mrs. Meyer's class. Then yet again he opened the door for me and motioned for me to step inside the room.

The room was spacious, and welcoming. It had tan walls which were a wonderful break from the monotony of white walls that made up the rest of the school. The desks were broken up into groups of 5 or so, and within the group were placed all facing each other.

I decided on a seat in the front left area of the room. I always loved being in the front, especially in a language class.

This class was where I could express myself the most, where I felt a wave of excitement come over me every time I entered. English was always a fun class for me. I think it is because of the amount of time I spend reading and writing, it feels more like a free period rather than school.

"Do you mind if I sit here," he asked as he stood behind the chair next to me.

"No, of course not!" I replied as trying to be as cool as I could without giving away the happiness that him being so close in proximity caused me.

He quickly took his seat next to me. I suddenly felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I attempted to stealthy slide it out of my pocket just enough to see the message I had just received. The message was from my father, that was not very comforting. The screen read : Renesmee Carlie Cullen, get to the office now!

Uh- oh what did he know!

**A/N**

I am debating making the next chapter JPOV, let me know what you think!

**Remember that you comments are like a drug to me, they are my own personal brand of heroine.** OK so it's a little cheesy but I just couldn't resist!

I love y'all more than you know. Let me know what you think!!

**comment= pre-view**

live, love, write!

LOVE YOU,

Toni


	7. They Just Don't Get it Do They

_**Hey nice to meet you here again. I love you for even opening this page. I'm sorry for the tremendous wait.. I could give you excuses but to sum it up I am a master procrastinator!**_

_**No for the long awaited Chapter 7.. dum dum dum.. (long ominous silence)**_

**Even Mind-Readers Don't Understand Teenage Daughters**

**(No Matter How Much We Want Them To)**

Chapter 7

I quickly excused myself from the classroom that was my temporary sanctuary, and walked the fastest human walk I could. _This is not good_, was all I could think to myself. How could I have let this happen? I should have been more careful.

Then my mind changed paths. Yes I am completely and utterly infatuated with Jake, but my father  
(AKA Captain Over-Reaction) will get over it… Won't he?

In the back of my mind I had this voice silently but persistently telling me that no matter how much I thought I liked him, there was always the possibility that he did not return the same amount of affection.

No, I could not think that way. I had to hold on to every shred of hope I had that maybe in some alternate universe we may have a chance. I also had to keep reminding myself about the way he looked at me. Oh, how he looked at me. It was as if I was the only person alive for those brief but agonizingly perfect moments in time.

This was it. I couldn't think about him anymore. I was way too close to my father; he was just behind the door I was standing in front of. I needed to fill my brain with something school-like. I had no idea what to think of, so I chose the book that I noticed Mrs. Meyer had written up on the board as a suggested reading material. Suddenly I filled my head with all of the complicated and overpowering thoughts of Gone With the Wind, (**A/N:** the best book ever by the way!) my father would never detect anything out of the ordinary. It was my favorite story of love and loss I had ever ventured to read.

I reached out with my left hand to open the door for myself when I peeked through the window and noticed Esme, Alice, Jazz, Mom, Dad, Rose, Emmett standing inside along with… I was dumbstruck when my eyes flicked the last one in the overly crowded room - Carlisle. Why was he here? In that moment I lost focus and my mind flashed to Jake. Just as it happened my eyes flashed to my father but there was no stopping it now - he knew everything just from my thoughts from that split second of concentration loss.

Now the only thing I could do to fix the irreparable damage I had just done was flooding my brain with thoughts like "please don't over react, it was just a walk to class" and "it's not that bad!" This didn't seem to help though; his eyes were still pitch black and his brow was still furrowed.  
**  
**The door flew open and my body was instantly pulled into the firm and strong body of Emmett. I did not try to struggle out of his strong grasp; I was going to go where he wanted me to go, whether I wanted to or not.

"Don't worry my pretty little Ness, I'll protect you from those scary werewolves."  
I didn't need protecting. I needed them to understand that I felt a special connection to this person. I felt as if I couldn't be parted from him, no matter what magical force was acting upon me. The bond that I felt to him felt as sure as the sun rising in the east, and setting in the west.  
"We're going home." My father's exasperated voice rang in my ears long after he finished speaking. There was no doubt that he was about to bite my head off. I just hoped not in the literal sense. **  
**  
"Ok, why?" I replied, still attempting to sound as naive as possible.

"Don't seriously tell me that you don't know why we're going home. _You_. You and that… that _dog_. How could you?"

I wanted to tell him everything and explain the complexity of what I was feeling, but deep in my heart I thought he would never understand.

"No, I _don't _understand. Can't he just stay away? He always has to ruin everything."  
My mind was racing.  
"What? 'Always, everything.'…You- you know Jake?" How did he know Jake? And why?

"Ness, get in the car. We need to talk when we get home." He said as he shut the door to Carlisle's new black Mercedes.  
With a click of the keys the engine purred to life. And we were off. It took about five minutes to get home with the horrifying speed we were traveling at.  
Once we were home I leaped out of the car and everyone walked quickly to the house. I knew where we were going. So as soon as I walked into the ever-so-welcoming house, I headed to the dining room. We never used this room for anything other than official family meetings. This is the room where my mother came to meet with my family and vote on her becoming a vampire. Obviously we all know how _that_ one panned out. **  
**  
"I'll take the head seat." My dad said which meant that he was planning on running the discussion, slaughter, or severe punishment that was about to ensue. **  
**  
I pulled out the seat next to him and sat down gracefully, placing my hands on my lap. His eyes were still focused straight ahead, but they had a sense of fear to them I have only seen a few times before in my short life. My mother sat in the seat next to him and took his hand. His head bowed as if to silently thank her for the comforting gesture. Everyone filed in the room and followed suit, so that eventually Carlisle was sitting directly opposite to my dad.

Eventually Alice broke the agonizing silence. "What the hell happened? I was sitting in class scanning Nessie's imminent future when it went completely blank. I mean, it was _gone_! No shit - there wasn't a single shred of future in her future!"

My father was the next to speak. " I fear that Jake has Im-... Imprinted on our little Nessie."

The room broke into a series of deep-chested growls and bared teeth. Every vampire it the room jumped from their seat and took a defensive stance.

What the hell was this imprinting and why the hell was it so bad?

**A/N time!!**

This chapter is dedicated to my awesome beta BouncesLikeJaboc! She caught so many mistakes, and she also titled this chapter!

I apologize about the wait but now that I have BouncesLikeJaboc! She really helps me get off my ass and write!

Comment please it is my personal brand of heroine! (I dream at night of your comments and pm's and reactions!)

Read Live Love!

Toni-


	8. Bleeding Love

Try not to hear but the talk is so loud  
Their piercing sounds fill my ears try fill me with doubt yet  
I know the goal is to keep me from falling...

I don't care what they say I'm in love with you  
They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth  
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing  
Oh you cut me open and I keep bleeding love"

~ Bleeding Love, by Leona Lewis

Bleeding Love  
Chapter 8  
NPOV

"What is imprinting?" I said in a hurried scream, and suddenly the deafening roar ceased. It was my turn to speak, and I had to make the most of what I had. I would not get this opportunity again.

Someone began to speak, it was the least expected but also the most ideal response.Jasper's calming and soothing voice trickled through the ears of everyone present at the table.It sent a calm throughout the room wasn't definitely going to relax everyone.but at least give me the chance to plead.

"Imprinting is a thing so powerful, so strong that once it has occurred it can never be undone." Jasper paused a moment while the room became so quiet you would expect to be alone. "We - … Werewolves imprint upon those they are destined to spend the entirety of their life with. They have absolutely no choice in the matter." As Jazz said this he slowly turned his head to Dad, as if to say "we can't change what has happened".  
"I don't care if it can't be changed!" my father screamed at his own brother. Jasper's efforts were obviously not working on him. "I only care about the fact that I trusted him, and I let Bella continue her friendship with him." At this point my mother shot out of her chair, and said " Continuing the friendship was my mistake, not yours and even if you had said no it would not have stopped me." my father**'s** face looked like he was somewhere between pain and sorrow. "He betrayed both of our trust**,** and that is completely my fault. Edward… please do not beat yourself up over this."  
"No matter who he was and what he has done**,** it does not change the fact that I love him and he apparently loves me as well." I said**,** reclaiming the floor.  
"We are not allowing you to have anything to do with this… creature. Mom basically spat at me. Your life is far too valuable to allow you to be in that dangerous position." Mom said with a certain finality in her posture and voice. "He has gone back on our trust before and does not deserve to have anything to do with such a wonderful girl as you."  
My mind was already braced for this but I didn't expect it to hurt so much.  
This was unbearable, I had to get away and there was only one place for me to go. I filled my head with thoughts of the library, merely to give my dad the illusion that that was where I was going. I was out of the room so fast that if a human had been present, they wouldn't have realized I was gone.  
As I reached the highway, the tears started flowing. If I went where I was really going, there was no turning back. And if my pleas to take me in were denied, then I could possibly face Death... was I willing to make that sacrifice? Of course I was. If I was anything, It definitely wasn't a coward_._ I could not take a chance when it came to love, this was for sure. I had to do this, and there is no return from what I was about to do.

/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/

A/n

I hope you still liked it. I just got it back and beta'd... Please Comment and review!!!!

Please Comment Good or Bad~!

Much Love TOni


	9. need

**Warning! Contains lemons! No need to read it you can simply skip over where it starts to where it ends... that easy. I'm not telling you not to read it just giving you a safe alternative :P Hope you love it!**

Need Chapter 9

There it was **-** the place my fate would be decided. I could have my wildest dreams come true**,** or I could have my life shattered.  
It wasn't an extraordinary house that was standing before me. It was what was within the house that drew me here tonight. My salvation. My love. My werewolf savior.  
Jake's house was small**,** but I could feel the warmness of his body even from the front step. I could not resist inhaling his intoxicating aroma even in this**,** the most dire of situations. It unleashed something inside me that I simply could not place**.** It made me feel more in touch with the vampire within me.  
I knew deep down that if he was going to accept me that I could cry in front of him, but I didn't want to look like I had no other choice. I would have to appear strong and put together, and I had to stop crying.  
It took a few minutes**,** and it was a grueling task but I got a hold of myself, or so I thought. I knocked on the door and prayed he would answer. I didn't know what to do if he didn't.

A few long minutes later I heard footsteps on the other side of the door, making my heart jump in my chest, realizing what I was about to do. The door swung open, and I felt the breath leave me.  
There he was. All 6 feet and 7 inches of him. His hair was disheveled, like he had been laying down asleep, and his eyes were slightly glazed over, further convincing me that I'd woken him. He was wearing long jeans that were lighter in color at the knees from wear and his feet were bare. And he was wearing a shirt, baring his wide, muscular chest to my gaze**,** enhancing the strange feeling in my chest. Jake's chest was...mouthwatering, and I felt the weirdest urge to run my fingertips across his rock-hard abs. But I didn't of course, I instead forced myself to look at his eyes, not the expanse of russet skin, and definitely not the trail of soft black hairs that disappeared into the waistband of his jeans.

"Nessie?" He said, his voice a little guarded, which cracked my heart. "What are you doing here?"  
I looked up at him, my eyes watery, even with all the preparation I had done. "I have nowhere else to go. And, I know that you've imprinted on me, and I-I was hoping that you would help me..."  
He looked down at me for a moment, his eyes calculating, before he answered me. He must've taken pity on my miserable appearance, with my hair in a big sloppy bun with half of it escaping, and my drenched navy blue sweatshirt and jeans and flats muddy from running in the rain. I was shivering and soaked to the bone with rainwater. "Well, come on in out of the rain." He stepped aside, his eyes on the floor and his cheeks slightly colored. "Please excuse the mess."  
I stepped in the door nervously, my eyes on the floor as well. "Thank you." I said quietly. And then I burst into tears. I cried into my hands, my tears falling freely, and I couldn't hold back the sobs.  
Suddenly strong arms were around me, and Jake's face was pressed into my wet hair. I found my tears had slowly begun to cease when I felt the unmistakable presence of Jake pressed up against my body. I found myself closing my eyes and leaning fully into him as I pressed my face against his chest, and inhaling his scent.  
Slowly I lifted my head and our eyes met, conveying a silent message between us, his smoldering eyes burning into mine. Jake slowly moved his head down to mine and stopped, much to my frustration, barely an inch from mine as he said "Are you sure you want this?"  
I looked at him, or rather, his lips then his eyes. "Jake, shut up and kiss me already."  
A small smile lit his face. "Gladly." And then he kissed me. And the mysterious feeling that I couldn't identify was now plainly obvious.

Lust.

(LEMON)  
As he kissed me, I felt a liquid fire ignite inside me. It flowed through my veins and pooled at the very center of my essence and I let myself go.  
I twined my arms around Jake's neck and he reached around and put his hands on my hips. My nerve endings had a party at the sensation of his hands on me and I kissed him harder, slipping my tongue into his mouth and licking the inside of his lips. A soft guttural animal noise erupted from Jake's throat and before I knew it, he had picked me up bridal style and carried me to the bed.  
Jake laid me down on the bed and very carefully climbed over me, settling his body just above mine, and I greedily claimed his lips again, biting down on his bottom lip and a shiver shot through his body. I slid my hands over his back and ran my fingers down his spine, enjoying the feeling of his smooth skin. Unable to take it, Jake pulled back and took my sweatshirt off, revealing the teal tank-top underneath, and making the fact that I'm not wearing a bra obvious to him. At that, he moaned and slowly slipped his hands under my tank and up to my breasts, swollen and tender with need and want.  
"You're so beautiful Renesmee." He whispered softly as he moved his thumbs over my nipples. I let out a sigh and bit my lower lip.  
I trembled uncontrollably as he gently massaged my breasts, making me squirm and cry out. Jake smiled and continued to squeeze and knead me. It felt so good that I thought I was surely going to explode spontaneously. Jake removed my tank top slowly and anxiously as my torso was bared to him. He stared down at me, not just at my breasts, but at every aspect of my being. From my belly button all the way up to my eyebrows. I shivered under the scrutiny of his gaze and writhed beneath him, widening my legs.  
Jake gasped as his hips fell forward so that they were nestled up close to where I wanted him most. I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist and reached up with my hands to pull him down onto me. Jake's voice shook. "Easy girl, we have all night." But I didn't want to wait. I wanted him now. My body was calling for him, aching for him. It didn't want to wait either.  
He pulled away reluctantly and reached for the snap of my jeans, and watched me as he pulled it open and tugged the zipper down tortuously slow. Once it was all the way down, he moved down and pulled my pants off by the hem and tossed them across the room. After he looked back up at me, his eyes were riveted to my panties. They were cute, baby pink with a little bow and lace. Jake must've thought they were cute too, cause he just couldn't stop staring.  
He looked up at me with his eyes filled with lust. "That is the sexiest piece of fabric I've ever seen." He said, his voice alone making me blush and quiver. "I bet they look even sexier on the floor. Let's find out shall we?" Without another word he'd torn my panties off and thrown them somewhere before sliding his hand up my leg to my womanhood, where he stroked me sensuously with his fingers. Not able to hold it in, I let out a scream and dug my fingers into the mattress, and thrashed my head from side to side.  
"Jacob!" I cried, looking down at his smiling face as he watched me squirm.  
He moved his lips up to mine. "Scream for me." He whispered in my ear before he licked, LICKED, my neck slowly, getting another scream as he continued to drive me mad with his fingers. At that he began to nibble, sending sparks shooting down my spine, driving a feral shriek to the surface. "Music to my ears." He whispered again.  
By now I felt like if he kept this up he would kill me. But he just kept touching me, lighting my skin on fire and manifesting feelings that I'd never known or felt before in my life. Everything he did sparked feelings of affection in my heart. Something in me told me to be afraid of these feelings, but I ignored that something and embraced the feeling and embraced Jake.  
Jake pressed kisses into my neck that trailed up to the corner of my mouth and across my parted lips until he was kissing me again. I shivered and kissed him back passionately, our tongues intertwined. We broke apart when we had to come up for breath and he looked me in the eyes. His hand was stilled between my legs from the heat of the kiss and he brought his hand up slowly and licked his fingers clean, not taking his eyes off mine. The erotic sense of the vision before me pushed me almost over the edge, and I had no idea what would happen when Jake lifted me high enough to get to the other side of the mountain. But I wanted to find out.  
"Jake..." I whimpered, trying to convey all that I was feeling in that one word. He looked at me with a soft gentle smile on his beautiful face. Then he leaned down and took my left nipple into his mouth. I cried out, louder than before and cradled his head to my breast as he sucked and licked, massaging my other breast in the process.  
As soon as I felt his teeth close around my nipple, something snapped within me. I felt a rush of blood to my head and my vision exploded into bright yellow and white lights as my ecstasy peaked and I was catapulted over the mountain unexpectedly with an uncontrolled scream. I lost all feeling in my limbs, all I could feel was Jake's mouth on me and a tingling bottomless feeling in the pit of my stomach.  
I gasped for breath, my arms and legs like jelly. My vision came back slowly and the tingling was quickly replaced by lust all over again as I looked down and saw Jake nuzzling my breasts. He looked up at me and smiled.  
"I love making you scream." He said huskily. "And there's definitely going to be more screaming tonight. I'm just getting started." I grinned.  
Without warning, he got off the bed and started taking off his pants. My eyes locked onto his hands as they pulled the zipper down and I licked my lips in anticipation of what I was about to see. Soon he stood before me in all his naked glory, before settling himself back between my legs. I looked down at his erection curiously. He caught me looking and we both blushed, me more than him. But Jake recovered from the embarrassment quickly and laughed at me.  
"Don't be shy." He said softly. "Go ahead and... explore for as long as you'd like." Jake rolled off me and onto his back beside me, and I sat up, still staring. I reached out with my pointer finger and poked him gently. Jake winced. "Careful with your fingernails though. They hurt." I pulled b ck quickly, sorry that I had hurt him. But I soon overcame my shyness and wrapped my entire hand around his hardened length. He sucked air in through his teeth and leaned his head back on the pillow. I watched his face in fascination. When I flexed my fingers or squeezed, he gasped. And I had fun with my new-found ability.  
Until I must've done something because Jake's eyes flew open and he spun us around so I was pressed into the mattress with his lean hips rested between my legs. My head spun at the sudden shift in positions and I lifted my head up and kissed him heatedly.  
He moaned against my lips and pulled away to look down at me. "It's going to hurt Renesmee. I don't know how much." Jake laid his hand on my cheek and stroked below my eye with his thumb. "You can bite, or claw me as much as you need to if it hurts too much." I nodded and braced my hands on his shoulders as I felt his tip prod my center.  
He slowly began to enter me and I gasped at the small pain that shot through my body. He began to thrust gently, and I felt tears spring to my eyes. I pulled him down to me and closed my teeth on the skin of his neck. It hurt so bad I couldn't even focus enough to start drinking from him. I felt like someone was cutting me in half with a plastic butter knife. The pain was unbearable. I foolishly thought for a moment that I was going to die. I dug my nails into Jake's shoulder blades and was only able to hold in the sobs because I was biting Jake's neck so hard. And he wasn't even complaining, when it had to have hurt like hell.  
Then, after what seemed like an eternity, the pain began to turn into pleasure, a wonderful sensation began to spread throughout my body. If I'd thought that Jake touching my breasts had felt good, it was NOTHING compared to this. I felt completed, like the missing part of me had returned. He was so big and thick inside me and as he thrust into me I felt as if the world was all sparkly and perfect, there was nothing horrible or wrong in the world. It was only me and Jake, all alone. All my worries and fears disappeared and all that was left was this heavenly feeling blossoming in my womb.  
I began to pant as Jake slowly slid in and out of me. "S-So...good..." I gasped, barely able to speak as he leaned down and buried his face in my neck. He was panting too. I widened my legs as far as they would go, taking him in deeper and deeper, and wrapped them around his waist pulling him in even more. I felt a pinch of pain as Jake bit my neck. I expected it to hurt, but I felt good and intensified the greatness of the amazing event occurring in Jake's bed.  
Something happened when he bit me. It was like a hole was torn in the membrane surrounding my mind, as if my brain was water and was being poured from a small cup into a big mixing bowl and being stirred in with something else.  
It was what Jake was feeling. I was actually feeling what he was feeling, and he was feeling what I was. It was amazing. And it only made the sex better and better.  
It was like my cells were collapsing and turning my insides into thick pudding. The stimulus of everything I was feeling was driving me out of my mind. I arched my back into Jake's body and moaned loudly, digging my claws into Jake's back. He moaned against my skin and I licked and suckled his neck while he continued to pound himself into me. Jake released my neck and rested his forehead on my shoulder as he began to pant my name.  
"Renesmee...Renesmee..." He moaned as he squeezed my breast with on hand and held himself up with the other.  
I began to call out his name. "Jake..." I showered his neck and shoulder with kisses. "Jacob..." W**e** continued to moan each other's names as we came incredibly close to the top of the mountain. When we hit out climaxes, we hit them together, and we hit them hard. We both screamed for what seemed like hours, but what was really only seconds. He collapsed on top of me and rolled off to my side. He leaned over and kissed where he bit me and I felt a little shock, which turned into a tingle. ____________________________________________________________________________________________Lemon ENDS_______________________________  
My vision blurred, still in pain from the bite I had received, and I faintly recall Jake pulling me close to him and curling his arms around my sides. I rested my cheek on his smooth skinned chest and my vision continued to go out. I draped my arm across his waist and watched in a haze as Jake fell asleep.

I could see his perfect form lying next to me, such a plain person. I felt as if I was finally complete, that I had everything I could ever need. I couldn't let my mind flow to my family, the family I was leaving behind. It was too late now; the damage was done. I was still happy no matter what cost. The things I was giving up were important, but they were keeping me from Jake, I couldn't live without him.  
I was still sore and I knew I shouldn't lay as I was for much longer, so I gently rolled onto my back. My body may have moved but my eyes stayed locked upon the Russet skinned Adonis that lie before me. I placed my hands on my stomach and slowly drifted asleep.  
I was abruptly woken when I felt something within myself, I had to leave. I had to get out before Jake sensed it, I knew exactly what was disturbing me and he could not. This changed everything, how could I let this happen? I had to get out....

**(A/N)**

**ok so she is back and Betta than ever... ha ha get it! (I'm talking about my beta who went to Spain... LUCKY!) this is the beta'd version of chapter 9... hope u loved it:) Please Comment and Pm... my ego needs it! **


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